The novelty has worn off of the job hunt. The jobs I’m most qualified for are not available at this time of year. I’m tired of looking through lists of jobs that I’m not qualified for. At one time it was amusing to think about driving a delivery truck or answering phones at a call center. But I know that I would quickly get bored with the repetition and lack of autonomy. I’m also tired of filling out online forms, giving out personal information, and writing new cover letters. I whip myself into excitement about a potential position, write the cover letter, and then have to put it out totally out of mind while waiting for a reply. Not an easy task if you are genuinely interested.
My unemployment benefits were approved, so I now receive a modest weekly payment. To stay eligible however, I have to file three “job contacts” (which generally means apply to three jobs) per week, which is difficult some weeks, especially when the follow up (calls, interviews, paperwork) for a single contact can extend for weeks. The three part-time jobs I do have are minimal and short term. I’m interested in exploring new directions and developing new skills, but it’s hard to see what might be most practical and/or satisfying. I have an on-going research project that helps focus me professionally, but at times I lose faith in my motivation to see it through without external support. I also have projects around the house that need doing, but I have trouble getting started. There are too many fragments right now – the puzzle pieces are scattered all over the table and they are not coming together into the big picture yet.